untitled.

Here's my blog.

I'm on a Facebook fast.

Hasn't gotten me very far, but it's a work in progress.

I went to school today.

I brought Jackson along.

That made it much better.

Why is it that while I'm in Atlanta everything is perfect?

Nothing can go wrong...I'm happier, life seems brighter, I feel physically lighter, more free.

I can actually breathe in Atlanta.

Which is saying something considering the smog...

But that's how I know God is calling me there.

It's as if there's a darkness over Henry county...just for me.

I feel heavy, depressed, stressed out when I'm down here most of the time.

How do you explain that?

But while reading Velvet Elvis (yes, I'm going to talk about it constantly because it was by far the best book I've ever read), something jumped out at me, but with a bittersweet twist.

"If you have issues surrounding your identity, those issues will not go away if you 'make it'. They will be there until they are hunted down and identified and dealt with. We often live under the illusion that when we reach that goal and complete our mission, those issues that churn on the inside will go away.

But it's not true.

There is a great saying in the recovery moment: 'Wherever you go, there you are.'

That's why when we talk with people who are just itching to leave town because they 'just need to get out of here', we know they will be back. Often they find out that whatever it is, it went with them. The problem is not the town. The problem is somewhere inside of them."

On a completely different note though...now that we've got my depression out into the light there...I need prayer. Unspoken.

And I need my best friend back.

I wonder if she knows I'm gone.

I wonder if she knows that I pray for her every day.

I wonder if she knows that I need her prayers.

I wonder if she knows that I want to give up on her.

I wonder if she knows that I can't.

I wonder if she cares.

Probably not.

Pray for me.